Who I am.

It's a big year for me this year!  I turned 30 years old back in July, and I think having a milestone birthday like that can often be a bit of an eye-opener.  On the one hand, it seems like it should be a big deal; like you will somehow feel different on the other side of it.  I personally felt that it was a let-down in expectations.  Not only did I feel the same as I did before, but no one else seemed to care that I was now 30!  I just needed to get over myself.  On the other hand, a milestone birthday can be an opportunity to take stock of your life and your experiences.

I guess when I look back over my 30 years, what I found was that I wasn't super happy with who I had evolved into.  I have had many achievements and things to be proud of: graduating, getting an Associate's Degree, marrying my wonderful husband, and having three amazing children; but nothing that really defined who I was.  If you had asked me several months ago who I was, I would have told you, a wife, a mother, a taxi driver, a cooker, a cleaner, an owie-kisser.... I would have told you lots of things, but none of them would have really been about me.  It would have been about roles that I play in my everyday life.  But now I am trying to define who I am, and create an identity for myself that doesn't always include my husband or kids.

I have been beginning to express who I am by admitting to anyone who wants to know, that I suffer from mental illness.  Anxiety, depression, a touch of OCD, and above all else, emetophobia (fear of vomit).  I have always tried to hide this because I felt shame in admitting it; like if I just set my mind to it, they would go away.  And while I still am not proud of it, I can see now that just because I suffer from mental illness, it doesn't mean I am not smart or strong.  I do not want to be ruled by my anxiety anymore; I want to start to explore life outside my comfort zone.

I am learning to put myself closer to the front of my priority list by mixing my daily duties in with things I love: crafting, sewing, baking, cooking, photography, fashion and gardening, and just whatever new things I feel like trying!  So that is what this blog is about...sharing the things that interest me... with you.

Thank you very much for sharing this with me!

This is me (Julie) with my middle daughter Mylie

And my hubby Adam with my three little girlies: