Saturday, January 22, 2011

Trip to the mall with kids (and other stories)

Watch out! I will ramble on tonight... consider yourself warned!

Okay, actually before I start that, I want to share a picture with you. I took this photo of Mylie in the rain yesterday, and I really liked it despite some flaws (like dark eyes, and too much stuff junking up the background) so the talented Heather (who is like, my idol of all things photography and a fountain of useful knowledge) offered to edit my photo for me, and here is the outcome! So thank you Heather, and Crystal too, whose idea it was to crop the boots in the second one.

And now on to my mall trip story.

I decided that I desperately needed a new pair of sweatpants. Actually maybe I should rephrase that. I wanted a new pair of sweatpants. Why? Because all of my other pairs were dirty as a result of letting my laundry piles build up into mountains that threatened to engulf anyone who dared to walk near them. So off I went to the mall with Mylie and Evelyn in tow.

I found a sufficiently cushy pair of sweatpants at American Eagle (which I am actually probably too old to shop at, but I digress). So I went into the big changing room they reserve for the disabled or those with children and large strollers. The changing area was pretty busy with young hipsters trying on cute clothes while I stuffed myself into some frumpy sweatpants. Soon, Mylie bellowed loud enough for the whole mall to hear, "Mama, did you just fart?"

I heard muffled snickers coming from outside the door as I hissed, "No, I did NOT!" (for the record, I really didn't) By that time, I had my pants off and was about to pull on the sweats when she said, "Hey Mama, you wearing your Christmas undies?"

I quickly pulled the pants up to cover my underwear that was allover Christmas print (hey, what am I supposed to do, pack them away with the decorations?) and gave her the stink eye. She stared back, unable to understand why I looked angry. As we exited the changing room, she stepped on the creaky wood flooring and exclaimed, "That's what made the farting noise!" I could feel the stares as my little gong show made our way up to the cash register. I could tell they were all thinking, there goes that lady who farted in her Christmas undies....

Moral of this story? Don't take your 4 year old in the changing room with you. They will humiliate you every time.


  1. Kids say the darndest things, especially when you're out in public! Thanks for the laugh!


  2. oh seriously......that story was just what I needed to hear today! Too funny


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